


a joint conversation

by HaleHole (SweetFanfics)



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Friendship, Gen, Humor, M/M, Pining, Recreational Drug Use
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-04
Updated: 2014-01-04
Packaged: 2018-01-07 10:58:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,202
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1119052
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SweetFanfics/pseuds/HaleHole
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Stiles raises his hand, fingers up. “I’ve got four.”</p><p> </p><p>Again he feels Scott’s curious gaze on him. “You’ve got four people we know that you would sleep with?” Stiles isn’t sure he likes the amused, half surprised, quarter judgemental tone that Scott’s got going on when he asks that. Yes, he’s got four people that he’d seriously want to get it on with, just give him a serious chance and Stiles would take it with both hands. Heh, literally even.</p><p> </p><p>Still, there’s the judge-y tone. Stiles winds up poking Scott’s shoulder and neck. “Hey! Don’t judge! Not all of us have eyes only for a single girl!” He pauses before adding in. “And occasionally another hot werewolf with angelic cheekbones.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	a joint conversation

**Author's Note:**

> Teen Wolf AU: [ #this looks like its from a fic where they get high together #and then they list out all the people they know that they would sleep with](http://halesparkles.tumblr.com/post/55019006291/sourwolf-this-looks-like-its-from-a-fic-where)

Feeling like he’s floating on a cloud of blue cotton candy, Stiles passes the joint over to Scott and asks, “People you  _know_  that you’d sleep with if you got the chance. And no celebrities or anything! It’s gotta be people we know.”

 

The mattress dips slightly around his shoulders when Scott turns his head to give him an adorably confused look. “How’d you go from talking bout using some kind of wolfsbane to get me drunk to that?”

 

Stiles waves his hands at the ceiling, trying to draw out the way his thoughts are inside his head but it kind of looks like he’s trying to untangle a bigass ball of yarn. Which, not that inaccurate when he thinks about it.

 

"S’ my brain. I make jumps and stuff." Stiles grumbles, wriggling a little against the bed. The jumps in question being ‘it’s a good thing you can get high off good weed’ -> ‘it’s too bad you can’t get drunk’ -> ‘there’s gotta be some way you can’ -> lots of rambling about different kinds of wolfsbane -> ‘I wonder if Derek or Peter know about how to get drunk’ -> several images of drunk!Derek including a few scenarios where Stiles imagined him taking his shirt off because of reasons…

 

Scott goes back to staring at the ceiling as he takes a hit. Stiles watches the smoke drift up and up before disappearing into nothing and thinks that he’d like to try being smoke sometimes. “Okay. I’ve got two.”

 

"Jus’ two?" Stiles makes a face at his best friend, not bothering to look at him because he trusts his bro to know that he’s frowning in the first place. "C’mon!"

 

"You wanna know or not!" Scott asks, slapping the back of his hand against Stiles’ chest. With a grunt, Stiles takes a good long inhale, holds it in and tries once more to make cool smoke rings like Bilbo. He frowns hard at his failed attempts, waving the hand holding the joint in a wordless ‘go on’ to Scott as he passes the stick.

 

Scott accepts the joint, holding it between his fingers as speaks. “So. Two people from the people we know. Allison.” Stiles snorts cause he should have seen that one coming. “And Isaac.” Not to mention that one.  ”What about you?”

 

Stiles raises his hand, fingers up. “I’ve got four.”

 

Again he feels Scott’s curious gaze on him. “You’ve got  _four_ people we know that you would sleep with?” Stiles isn’t sure he likes the amused, half surprised, quarter judgemental tone that Scott’s got going on when he asks that. Yes, he’s got four people that he’d seriously want to get it on with, just give him a serious chance and Stiles would  _take_ it with both hands. Heh, literally even.

 

Still, there’s the judge-y tone. Stiles winds up poking Scott’s shoulder and neck. “Hey! Don’t judge! Not all of us have eyes only for a single girl!” He pauses before adding in. “And occasionally another hot werewolf with angelic cheekbones.” 

 

Pausing a moment, Stiles wonders if maybe he needs to think up a better descriptor for Isaac because that last definition can sort of extend to Derek. Especially if you’ve seen the guy sleep. Which Stiles has. Cross that off his bucket list or something. 

 

He turns his head to look at Scott, who is tapping his lips with a finger. “Okay so, I can guess Lydia and Danny.” Scott says. Stiles stares at the two fingers that Scott is now holding up in front of his face and eyeing them with a heavy set frown. It’s like Scott is confused why he’s two fingers short or something. “But who are the other two on that list of four people?”

 

Stiles eyes the jointand thinks that maybe it’s done it’s job and they should snuff it out. Any more smoke and it’ll be a pain to get rid of the smell hanging around Scott’s room. No way he wants Scott’s mom to find out what they’ve been doing. He  _seriously_ doubts that she’s going to believe Stiles’ explanation that they’re testing Scott’s werewolfy limits and stuff.

 

Scott’s still looking so politely befuddled. It reminds Stiles that oh yeah, he didn’t say who person’s three and four were. Stiles talks to the funny little crack on Scott’s ceiling that he often thought looked like a Mickey Mouse head if you tilted you head to the left. “Well….I guess technically it’s only three.” He wonders how much teasing and shit he’s going to have to put up with for the next admission. “I have Derek on there twice.”

 

Spots #1 and #2 on his list have Derek Hale pencilled in but Stiles doesn’t say that. Scott looks perplexed enough as it is, he really doesn’t need to know how  _very willing_ and  _eager_ Stiles is to sit on Derek’s cock and ride him like he’s about to die. Heh, death by werewolf dick - Stiles figures it’d be one hell of a way to go. Might make for an embarrassing news article though…

 

"Derek?  _Seriously?_ " Scott parrots, high pitched and so disbelieving. "You wanna bang  _Derek_?” This is the part where Stiles’ brain provides him with several synonyms (ride, fuck, screw, shag, roll in the hay with, bonk, copulate etc etc.) which he has to ignore in favor of giving Scott a disbelieving look of his own. Because Scott sounds like he doesn’t understand how Derek made it on Stiles’ list. Which! Isn’t that a total no brainer? 

 

"Excuse you?" Stiles asks, taking a leaf from Derek’s books as his eyebrows go high, high up to do his talking for him. "I mean  _seriously,_  Have you  _seen_ Derek?  _Yeah!_  I’d bang the shit out of him!”

 

There’s a long stretch of uncomfortable silence that stretches between them before Scott mumbles, “Does that mean you wanna top him? Cause I sorta can’t see that dude.”

 

"Hey!" Stiles yelps indignantly, rising up to his elbows to direct the full force of his glare at his best friend. "I could totally top him!" 

 

Scott make this weird noise that sounds like a homeless guy groaning right after waking up or something. “Iunno.” Scott gives Stiles a long contemplative look before waving his hand at his general self. “I mean, you’re almost the same height but he’s gotta be what? 300 pounds or something? I bet he could totally benchpress you. How you gonna top a guy who can use you for weights y’know?”

 

He’s ready to give a rebuttal - mouth open, finger pointing at Scott and all! Except the part where Stiles doesn’t really  _have_ an answer for that one. “I’d…” He tries, face scrunching into a heavy frown as he tries to think of an utterly genius plan that would allow him to top the shit out of Derek Hale. Except his brain is out for dinner and the tumbleweeds rolling around in its place aren’t really helpful or chatting. 

 

Stiles tries again, “I….” Nope, still nothing. “I got nothing.” He declares, flopping back down on the bed with a groan. “Not like it’s important or anything cause it’s just a list. I don’t really have a chance with him.”

 

"You never know." Scott offers, nudging Stiles’ shoulder with his own, offering him the rolled up weed. Stiles waves it off, figuring that if he gets any higher he’s going to float up and knock his head against the ceiling. The bed squeaks when Scott sits up, stubbing the joint out before he lies back down. "If you don’t try then you won’t ever know, you know?"

 

Stiles frowns slightly before asking curiously, “You think I’ve got a chance with  _Derek_?” No,  _he’s_ allowed to sound disbelieving cause see, this is Derek  _Hale_ they’re talking about. Derek ‘I am more devoted to my five o’clock shadow than anyone else in my life except possibly my family and pack’ Hale. Derek ‘I make ladies cream their panties by just smiling at them’ Hale. You get the idea…

 

Solemn brown eyes lock with his. “I’m just saying that he sure spends a lot of time looking at you. It’s like… What if he’s trying to talk with his eyes.” Had his best friend eye _brows_ , Stiles’ might have said that he was onto something. Scott deepens his voice, a terrible mimicry of Derek’s soft voice. “Stiles, I’m eye fucking you because I’m hoping that you’ll pick up on my silent signals and make the first move.”

 

It’s the voice that makes Stiles crack like an egg. And not the the thought that Derek might be interested in him so much that he’s scared to make a move because this is Stiles’ life and not a 90’s romcom. He might like being Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman though…

 

Emboldened by Stiles’ response, Scott continues in the overly happy tone of someone who feels that they have successfully made their point. “You should totally make a try!” Stiles giggles some more when he sees the confused wrinkle in Scott’s face as he seems to contemplate something. “Or make an attempt? Which is right?”

 

The sound of Scott’s window rattling open make Stiles tip his head back, wanting to see who is sneaking in this time. Scott meanwhile does an odd flail that results in him falling down on the carpet. That sets Stiles off afresh, curling on his side so that he can laugh into the crook of his arm.

 

Derek eyes the pair, eyebrows raised in an unimpressed way, one leg slung over the windowsill. He takes a few sniffs of the air before sighing. “Do I even want to know?” Stiles shakes his head and rolls on his back, looking at upside down Derek with a grin.

 

"Heeeeey Derek!" He declares, waving at the upside down frown the werewolf is sporting. "Speak of the furry devil!" That, for some reason, makes Scott laugh so hard that he starts to snort into the comforter. Derek however, is far from amused. Actually, he kinda looks like someone’s trying to pull his teeth out with rusty pliers. Which is actually kinda really rude cause Stiles is really funny and he demands  _laughs_!

 

Hmm he might have said that outloud when Derek deadpans, “Haha. I’ll come back later when you two aren’t high as kites.” Scott immediately argues back that they aren’t higher than 5 feet 11, which makes Derek roll his eyes so hard that Stiles is really scared that they might tumble out of his head. 

 

"Don’t forget to air the room." Derek says before leaving the same way he had arrived. The curtains flutter in wake of the werewolf. Stiles thinks that the gossamer soft material could easily be thick smoke that’s been woven into physical form.

 

Scott crawls back up on the bed, shaking his head as he grins. “Still wanna bang him?” He asks with a cheeky smirk.

 

Punching his friend in the arm, Stiles returns the grin. “All day and all night long. Have you  _seen_ that ass?” The pained groan Scott gives him makes Stiles’ wriggle happily in place.

 

He’s feeling pretty evil for a few seconds until Scott tilts his head back to look at the window with a confused look on his face. “What’s up?” Stiles asks, dipping his head back as well. All he sees is a clear blue sky and one crow flying by. 

 

"I think I just heard Derek walking into a tree…" Scott mumbles in confusion. 

 

"Huh." Stiles rolls over on his stomach and crawls forward, head just high enough to peek out the window. There’s no signs of surly alpha werewolves who love wearing really tight t-shirt and even tighter jeans. "Maybe you heard something el…" 

 

Looks like his brain is starting to come back online when Stiles realizes that “Oh shit!” He squeaks, dropping his burning face into the pillows. 

 

"What what?" Scott asks, eyes wide with panic as he crawls up to peer down at Stiles. But Stiles can’t stop groaning into the soft material, not wanting to think about the fact that maybe possibly Derek just  _overheard him say that he wants to bang him!_

So he chooses to deal with his deep embarrassment by shoving his head under the pillow and moaning while Scott shakes his shoulder and demands an answer. “What’s wrong?” Stiles echoes, peeking out from under the pillow. “What’s  _wrong_ is that I think Derek just overheard us!”

 

Scott’s eyes clear just slightly and starts to look as horrified as Stiles feels. Yeah, that’s more like it actually. “Oh but!” Now he’s looking hopeful, that’s not a good thing probably. Scott’s excitedly pointing out the window. “He walked into a tree! That’s a good sign!”

 

Some days he doesn’t get Scott’s logic. Today is one of those days. “ _How_ is that a good sign?” Stiles whines because doesn’t that just mean that Derek was shocked as hell?

 

"I’m… not sure. But I think movie logic says that it’s a good sign?" Scott offers weakly, smiling sheepishly as Stiles groans again and decides that he’s going to spend the rest of his life hiding under his best friend’s bed and become best friends with the dust bunnies there. So  _there_.


End file.
